Prior to arriving at my current process, I would approach a new piece with an image in mind; an expectation. This had majorly blocked my creativity during my time at University, and never left me feeling fulfilled with my work. My personal life at the time mirrored my practice - seeking to please others and mold into whatever form would be validated. 

In the early stages of my paradigm shift I had begun reading more, and one afternoon I was sitting on my couch reading Mark Manson's "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**K". And as I read there was one part that seized me in that moment - he spoke of motivation, and how motivation is not some magical mystical thing that suddenly happens to you, but rather it is the product of doing, it is a byproduct not the origin of productivity. And I remember feeling this surge of inspiration, I closed the book and walked into my art studio. I pulled out a fresh canvas and as I set it on the worktable I thought ... "just paint" - no idea, no sketch, no plan, no expectation - just paint. I found myself applying some watered down oils to the canvas and allowing it to drip, and then I thought - maybe I will rotate it - and then I continued - what if I let it dry and then disturb it? And on and on I was lead, I became more excited and more intrigued - seeing shapes form, some more pronounced, some called to be detailed. 

I remember putting the brush down for a moment and as I looked at what I had created I was overcome with emotion. This rolling up from my stomach, the corners of my eyes warming as tears began to well; and I thought ... I am an artist. 





Since then I have continued this process, allowing the paint to drip and dry, and painting what I see. Having no expectation or plan of what it will be, but simply holding a faith in the process and my creativity. Oddly enough as I have gone on, I have begun to notice this synchronicity between my life and the work - and oddly enough in ways where the work develops before my understanding of my own life does. I had been ruminating on writing about my practice - for I am still very much so only aware of its meaning in glimpses. I was out for a walk with a friend recently, a fellow artist and we were catching each other up on our lives, and she put my practice into a way I had been reaching to articulate. As an encounter with self. 



I aim to follow this practice as I go on, and to play around with it; using a larger scale canvas and brushes perhaps. I am joyously curious to see where this takes me.